An encounter!

A friend walked away from me today. He was going towards his car. I was walking behind him towards my car. He walked away as though he did not see me. Or may be he actually did not. Once upon a time he was a close friend. I was pondering over the little incident. Did it hurt? A little. When I imagined the laughy me and him walking towards the car 3 years ago, it felt like another lifetime. But more than anything I was relieved. That peaceful coexistence is still possible between us. I was also relieved that it did not bother me as much as I thought it would. 

I was retrospecting during my drive back home. The irritating part for me is the lose of friendship. I care about very few people and most of them are still with me. I try not to lose important people in my life. But there were decisions to be taken that had repercussions. Surprisingly it was something I knew all along and something I ignored and had to pay a hefty price for.

That took me back to all the decisions in my life. My friend used to point out a particular decision and tell me it was wrong and my life would have been much more happier if I did not take that one. It was a decision at the age of 23, so it had that much maturity only. I sometimes used to think she was right. But today I was sure about one thing.  Whatever decision I had taken or not taken, I would have been the same happy me at this point in my life. The same grateful person. The same lazy person who retrospects and finds more love within. The peaceful person who is at peace with all the flaws in me. The one that knows I can touch depths of depression and come back to bubbling happiness in no time. I am in love with myself, for today. With the full knowledge that I will hate the same me tomorrow.

There is a pleasing confidence that comes with age. A maturity that soothes you irrespective of what happens around you. I guess I am going to rock the 40s. Yes, I am turning 40 this year!

I know this post doesn't make much sense. But this is for me myself, for a mental health check. I passed the health check!