Some useful gyan :)

My friend is getting engaged next week. She is deeply worried. Some of the worries are
1. What will we talk after marriage?
2. Is he short tempered?
3. He is a book worm and I don’t like reading. Will that lead to fights?
4. My mom and dad never scolded me in my whole life. What will I do if he scolds me :(?
The list continues to some 25 points with all her chottu mottu worries. But these were the main worries.
Her worries reminded me of my own pre marriage worries. I was deeply worried or almost sure that after one or two years we will quit and go our own ways. Hers is an arranged marriage and mine was arranged by me n my hubby :) The knowledge that we are at the extreme opposite ends of behavior spectrum worried me a lot. Even now it worries me. But we have coped pretty well (due to 150% effort from his side and may be 50% effort from my side ;)). After 1.75 years of married life (into which our unexpected visitor came ;)) this is what I learned.
1. Marriage is a journey where you grow a lot if you are willing to take each of your differences in the right sense.
2. I have heard people say marriage is all about adjustments. But what I felt is marriage is all about love. Not the love that makes you send birthday card to a person or miss him/her terribly in their absence – But its about the love that makes u put all ur effort into the sparse supper to make it tasty, or to remember to perform his/her part of the duties when he/she is away so that when they are back they find a good peaceful home.
3. It’s all about us, and not about me. When it turns to ‘me’ than ‘us’ it is likely to fail J
4. And last but not the least I have realized one thing, our parents had the right sense of what marriage meant than our generation. They knew when to fight and when to stand together. Their bonds were rock solid even though it doesn’t have the masala flavor.

Well that is the consolidated list of 1.75 years of learning :) Will update it after some more years, if we continue to survive together ;)

Disclaimer: This is a personal opinion. It may not be suitable to your taste :)

PS: I have learned a lot from my husband. Fortunately he has learned very less from me:). As long as he doesn’t get into my influence our marriage will survive ;)

Sense of loss

I have a strange feeling that I am not going in the right direction. I smell a depression around the corner. Honestly it has nothing to do with anything around me. Its within me. It is a genetic trait from my mother's side (or so I believe). I have never seen my mother appreciate things around her. Rather she will wish for things she doesn't have. I have a strong fear that I am going in the same direction. Its not that I dont appreciate what I have. Its this dull feeling about life. A tiredness for life has crept into my mind. As though I am ninety years old and have seen and experienced almost everything in life. Now I understand why "Veronica decided to die" :). This might be a passing fancy. But I need to fight back, because it is genetical disorder, and if left unattended it will take over like diabetics :-)