Friday, December 16, 2011

Mother (Gorky)- My Bible

Each time I read this book a purification happens with in me. Something gets refined. I am not attempting to do a review of this excellent novel. Its beyond my capacity to understand the depth of the revolutionary thoughts and ideas shared in the book. But on each read I enjoy the love that radiates from this book. To me its purely a book on love. I cherish all the relations as my own. The way mother loves everyone and everything. The way she cherish every single appreciation from Pavel her son, the way she loves Andrey, the way she cares for Natasha, Sasha , Sophia and others, the friendship between Pavel and Andrey, the reformation of Viskovishkov, every relation is so beautifully sketched that the characters just refuse to leave you even after keeping the book down.
One of my favorite conversation between Andrey(Little Russian), Pavel and Viskovishkov(Nikolay )
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"Well, I'm not fit for anything but jobs like that!" said Nikolay dully, shrugging his shoulders. "I keep thinking, and thinking where my place in the world is. There is no place for me! The people require to be spoken to, and I cannot. I see everything; I feel all the people's wrongs; but I cannot express myself: I have a dumb soul." He went over to Pavel with drooping head; and scraping his fingers on the table, he said plaintively, and so unlike himself, childishly, sadly: "Give me some hard work to do, comrade. I can't live this life any longer. It's so senseless, so useless. You are all working in the movement, and I see that it is growing, and I'm outside of it all. I haul boards and beams. Is it possible to live for the sake of hauling timber? Give me some hard work."
Pavel clasped his hand, pulling him toward himself.
"We will!"
From behind the curtains resounded the Little Russian's voice:
"Nikolay, I'll teach you typesetting, and you'll work as a compositor for us. Yes?"
Nikolay went over to him and said:
"If you'll teach me that, I'll give you my knife."
"To the devil with your knife!" exclaimed the Little Russian and burst out laughing.
"It's a good knife," Nikolay insisted. Pavel laughed, too.
Vyesovshchikov stopped in the middle of the room and asked:
"Are you laughing at me?"
"Of course," replied the Little Russian, jumping out of bed. "I'll tell you what! Let's take a walk in the fields! The night is fine; there's bright moonshine. Let's go!"
"All right," said Pavel.
"And I'll go with you, too!" declared Nikolay. "I like to hear you laugh, Little Russian."
"And I like to hear you promise presents," answered the Little Russian, smiling.
While Andrey was dressing in the kitchen, the mother scolded him:
"Dress warmer! You'll get sick." And when they all had left, she watched them through the window; then looked at the ikon, and said softly: "God help them!"
She turned off the lamp and began to pray alone in the moonlit room.
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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Couldn't find Title ;)

Its very difficult to hide my happiness, and yes sadness too. But sadness usually erupts out as anger or stupidity, so its kind of fine. But happiness erupts out at all odd moments as smiles and laughters. People around me think I am insane. Coz they see me staring at my monitor and smiling. Actually I am having a nice chat conversation.  Or at times in meetings some serious conversation reminds me of some stupid converstaion i had with friends. Thats it, start of an insane giggle session. I might be adding years to my life, but honestly when will I grow up?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Beautiful Me :)

I found a beautiful me
A nice one, though a narcissist;

Found the power of my fragility
The dignity of this insanity
The sharpness in this incoherence
The order within chaos and
The sweetness of this stupid self ;)

Thanks to the 29 years
Which struggled to inject some wisdom
Into this stupid cracked pot

I turned 29 today :D


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Vinnai Thandi Varuvaya... Valentine Special ;)

Recently watched Vinnai Thandi Varuvaya in TV. Our cable guys were kind enough to play that movie on a holiday. But "watched" is not the right word. Managed to grab the story line, in between constant interruptions from my son. I felt all the dialogues were beautiful, but couldn't understand even a single dialogue in full, as my son was shouting on top of his voice. I wish I could watch the movie in theater some day. Visuals were awesome. And the major attraction was, for the first time, I felt like watching a part from my own life. I had a boyfriend once. It sounds trivial to call him boyfriend. All we knew was we had a relation which was one step ahead of friendship. Just as in the movie, he was 22 then and me 23. He a Tamilian n me Mallu. And I ended the relationship, for reasons I cannot articulate even now... The similarity with the movie ends there. It was not a hot intimate yet strained relation as portrayed in the movie, but just a good friendship which grew old to become something more than friendship. Many people do argue that if you can't keep the promise don't fall in love. But I feel it's always better to fall in love, than ignore it in lieu of all the practical matters around you. But I might be wrong, because I have always been an emotional person :)

The happiness we shared was absolute. May be bcoz, we both were naive and were yet to acquire the cunningness required in this stupid society. A lot of happy memories remain -
The way he looked at me at times with that brilliant sparkle in his eyes. It was not a sparkle of love, but something in between exasperation, amusement and mockery...His dimples while he smiled...How we could decode our insecurities without verbal communication (yeah crabs can do that - forgot to tell u, we shared birthday too :D)...The stupid chatter...Laughter filled evenings...The rains we shared...The train journey...
Well it goes on until the final bitterness...

I had planned to post this on Valentine's day. As usual with my punctuality, it is coming 5 days late :)
So the point is certain moments are cherished life long how much ever bitter the relation turns out later. If we meet today, we will mostly be two strangers who can just smile at each other as we did on that first day, no night, no twilight -  we met. But that doesn't diminish the beauty of what we shared.
Happy Valentine's Year (since the day is already over ;)) to all of you...