Love!

Yesterday, I went for a night drive with 3 other friends. Interestingly, the topic turned to love. One of them asked to define love. I told without thinking that "it's just an energy flow between two people". And I was surprised that I stumbled upon an almost accurate answer for love. When you love someone your whole being is energised by that persons presence. Even thoughts about him/her can energise you to do things that otherwise seems uninteresting. But the funny part is we fall in love with a beautiful image of the other person that we created. The image that is flawless. And if by any chance we get married to that person, the flawless image that we created slowly disintegrates. Slowly reality creeps in. And you see the other a little less, love them a little less. Here is where a good friendship helps. Even though you see the other person stripped of all his/her glory, your relationship can stay because of the strong bond of friendship that is already formed. The friendship can take the marriage forward. If friendship is not formed and the love bubble breaks, the relationship either breaks or continues with resentments. Just my theory on marriage. But marriages can come in every different colours. What works for one may not work for another. And I do honestly think marriage should be kept away from love!

Coming back to love, what actually is love? It depends on people I think. 10 years back I would have defined love differently. But now to me love is kindness. I feel loved when people are kind to me. And I feel in love when I am kind to them. This might be a wrong definition. But it suits me. For now! Another couple of years and I will change it... 

We!

We came out of nowhere

With all our differences

And the suspicions and awkwardness 

That came with the unlikeness

We talked we laughed and we shared

Opening a new world of possibilities 

Of simple happiness and light laughters

Of gossips and stories and games...

We happened, spontaneously

And lightly like a feather

For we don't carry weights

Of egos and promises and social norms

We happened, in a flow...

We may stay, or we may split

Our paths are wide and vast

And can carry us to faraway lands

But these moments my friend

They stay happily ever after,

As thin wisps of soul fillings memories

Etched to this otherwise mundane life!

Friends!

Having good friends is a true blessing. I am a confused person. And my emotions sway from red to green and back in alarming paces. It is not something I am proud of. There could be umpteen reasons behind my mood swings and the way I am. I have accepted my stupidities as is. But there are times when you are low and lack the energy to pull out of the pit you have fallen into. That is when friends come into picture. I have a couple of them who talks sense. And they keep me going. They make sure I don't fall. 

People like me are parasites. We thrive on the kindness of other people. It's not a good thing to do. But a parasite (an actual one), does it have a choice to be something else? I don't think I exhaust the other person. A big consolation to not to be a killer parasite. I need to keep a goal of being useful and not being a parasite. Knowing me it wouldn't last long! Let's see.

After talking to a friend I promised myself that I won't fall into the trap of self pity and the "me, me, me" thought spirals. But I am back to the "me" mode. Let me dump the thoughts here and clear my mind. There is a "Happy" me within those spirals that is really hard to find sometimes. I should find an easy way to reach out to the "Happy" me. 

Breakups!

I have a lot of things to do, which is not unusal considering the fact that I am a lazy and unorganised person. My ToDo list is always overflowing. But that shouldn't stop me from writing - A self note to me, myself!

I was talking to my niece yesterday. She had a break up recently and went through some rough patches. I am amazed at how she bounced back, started making new friends and moved on leaving behind the bitterness. But the ex-guy had contacted again for some casual chat and she was sadistically happy, because she could sense that he was still affected by the break up (even though he was the one who initiated it), and carried a soft corner for her. She was angry that he is still holding on to the stuff she gifted him, their photos and moments together. She said she had moved on, and could hear his rantings without attaching emotions to it. I am not sure if she was actually doing it or lying to herself. There are different kinds of people. Some lick their wounds and move on without looking back. They are not even affected by the whole baggage of the relationship once they move on. Some dont admit it, even to themselves, that they are affected. Some of us simply accept and acknowledge the happiness and sorrows associated with the baggage and leave it to time to heal it. There is no right or wrong here. It just depends on people and what works for them. 

Afterwards we watched the latest episode of 'This is US' where uncle Nicky meets Sally, the love of his life, after 50 years of isolation. Sally does not even remember Nicky from the umteen encounters she had in her youth. But for Nicky she was the only one and he clung to her memory like a miser holding on to his gold pieces. Those memories gave him hope to move forward. It was a beautiful episode. And I was again thinking about our earlier conversation. How some people just walk past the old experiences to create new flavours and how some others stack old memories and create hope, even though in reality they are far away from those memories. I do that quite often. When I am down I pull out this happy image of a laughing me or stupid me from the past and fend off the sadness. It is a beautiful thing to do. I wanted to tell her that.   Breaking off a relationship does not necessarily mean burying the happy memories too. But then I realised she has to figure it out herself. There are lessons that can be taught and there are lessons to be learned by self. She has a long way to go.

And as for me, I am eagerly waiting for the next episode of 'This is US'!