Two of the worst qualities that a woman can have is being clumsy and being neatless. And yeah, I am generously blessed with both. I don't know how God managed to put both of these in my kitty when he released me to live here. It was easier to live with these during my childhood days. In a family gathering or any social event I just had to keep my silence. People used to praise me then..."She is a nice silent kid"... they never realized The fact that I had no clue on how to do chit chat with strangers. Not exactly strangers. But to me honestly they were. Those far relatives and acquaintances who always asked me - "Molu, do u remember us?". I could never remember them. And even if I did, could never find something pleasant to tell them. To remember their son is working in some big company or their daughter is married to some nice family at some place, was a tedious task for me. But then there was always the smile that rescued me. Any question can be answered with a disarming innocent smile. Of course when you are a maiden, that would suffice. But once you are married expectations change. They expect you to initiate the conversation rather than them coming with the "Molu..." line, coz I have grown out of that "Molu" stage. Thats where the problem started. I can chat thousand senseless things with my friends, but I cant make a single line of those "expected sweet talk". It simply refuse to show up on my lips at the right time. They think I am rude. May be I am a little rude, but nobody is giving me any sympathy for my clumsiness... Trust me people, its a DISABILITY... Sigh!!!!
And the second part is my neatlessness. I don’t know how God managed to pull that miracle on me. I haven't met a more dirty woman than myself (Dirty here has the literal meaning, with respect to body and surroundings and nothing related to mind... I am way too innocent to imply anything... LOL). It was legendary in hostel and it still is. Again this was another one that was managed well in childhood coz I had a neat mommy :) . I managed to keep the house dirty and she managed to clean it up. As simple as that. But the problem is now I am not a kid. Being mom of a 4.5 year old puts me in matured women group right? But I have not changed a bit. The same neatlessness and clumsiness has survived my childhood days to give me company even now. It's a mental disorder I suppose. I don't perceive neatness as others perceive it. Put me in a wreckage with a nice book and I will happily devour the book as though I am in a divinely surrounding. The pathetic state of my living room never registers properly unless my hubby sulks on that regard. Poor fellow, he might have sinned badly during last birth to endure this torture. And being a mallu, the greatest sin I can commit ever is not taking bath everyday. Yes, I have successfully added that too to my kitty. My mom has asked me many times "How can u survive a day without taking bath". I couldn't tell her that I am barbaric and not civilized like her. I couldn't tell her smell of sweat is soothing to me than any perfume. Bcoz she wont understand it. Becoz women are supposed to be highly evolved gender when it comes to such matters. If I go with my brothers theory of spiritual evolution ladder, I would be at the lowest level possible. Beneath even the tamasiks I suppose. So be it, who cares :)
There now I have done it. The confession. The guilt part is cleared now and I can continue with these crimes as I please, until I feel guilty again - which I doubt I will ;)
