My Identity

Recently I had an interesting conversation in gtalk with a friend. He complained that he is a little intimidated by the picture of my son, which I have kept as my gtalk icon. He said "Your son is a different person.He is not you.Then why should you keep his picture?"...He also told me that most women lose their identity once they have a baby. Everything is "baby centric" and nothing outside the baby exists. On the lighter side I told him that since my son is too small to create a gmail account of himself I get to use his picture without him suing me for that. But his remark about my identity (or all moms identity) kept me thinking for a long time. What is my identity then? I am Soumya (Ok I have a name) I am from Kerala(Mallu!). I have a B Tech degree in electronics (Another govt. financed waste). I like chocolates (Big deal!). I like blue color (not color blind). I am skinny( which is most accepted in bangalore, but gets me truck loads of scoldings in my home town). What else? I have a nicy hubby, whom I love sometimes(rarely) and hate most of the times according to my convinience (Married!). I have a 1 year 5 months old baby boy (Mommy!). Yes right now a large portion of my identity is centered around my son. I am not so much a good mom. I have seen the last step of my patience ("kshamayude nellipadi" ;)) with his cryings and whinings. Still it is not so easy to not prioritize the cuddly little one in ur arms over the rest of the stupidities of everyday life. My life, as I see it, is not a "hot and happening" one. So it is easy for me to prioritize my son on the top list or make him the only one in the list. And the fact is right now I am happy with this list( May be in future when he starts yelling at me, I will take him off the priority list ;))... And I am happy with the identity of a mom. So the point is Motherhood is not about losing your identity, but about gaining a new one. I don't want to preach motherhood is awesome (becaues it's not, it comes with its price tag ;)), but just to point out that please don't undermine the identity of a mom. When a mom identifies with her own child, she becomes a source of infinite happiness, which I feel as a far better change than identifing with a stupid ego which puts an "I" (a capital one) over anything and everything. So kudos to all moms out there and a welcome note to would be moms - You are going to experience heaven and hell together!!!!! :D :D :D