Sense of loss

I have a strange feeling that I am not going in the right direction. I smell a depression around the corner. Honestly it has nothing to do with anything around me. Its within me. It is a genetic trait from my mother's side (or so I believe). I have never seen my mother appreciate things around her. Rather she will wish for things she doesn't have. I have a strong fear that I am going in the same direction. Its not that I dont appreciate what I have. Its this dull feeling about life. A tiredness for life has crept into my mind. As though I am ninety years old and have seen and experienced almost everything in life. Now I understand why "Veronica decided to die" :). This might be a passing fancy. But I need to fight back, because it is genetical disorder, and if left unattended it will take over like diabetics :-)