Thursday, July 06, 2006
When u lose faith in friendship....
Have you ever thought, what happens when u lose faith in friendship? Seems to be a silly question. But sometimes it does happen. Ok I will tell you what happened to me when I lost faith in friendship. Nothing. Yes, Nothing happened. I dint even know that I have lost something. I never felt the pain. A slight irritation for few days. I never noticed anything else. Even now I don’t feel any pain or sadness. But now (after one long year) I realize what I have lost. I lost my feelings along with it. I don’t feel anything now a days. Happiness, Sorrow, Anger, Fear…not even appetite. Something inside stopped working. It may change in due course of time. I may come back to my real self. I wont mind even if I don’t come back to my real self. In fact its far better this way than my original self. Its like attaining “Nirvana” with not much effort ;-). It’s funny. Life really is. If u told me 2 years back, that a hard core “sentimentalist” like me would change like this, I would have defenitely kicked ur butt J. Let me see how long this will go… Maybe I can share some valuable learning (like a rishi) when this period is over. Or maybe I am in the path of Enlightenment Who knows ;-)
I've never thought but due to some things that happened recently I am forced to think so. And lemme tell you its like a nightmare for me...Its very painful... Rather I don't know whether I've lost one, am unable to figure it out as of now...Just waiting for some response...This is what I have to say...Do share your valuable learnings....
ReplyDeleteFor me its not loss of feelings rather understanding of human nature/behaviour/feelings...
I could not stop myself when my eyes caught this topic. I also had a very similar experience a couple of years back. One whom I trusted the most, the one with whom I shared every piece of joy and sorrow, whom I trusted even more than me myself!!! It was really hard for me. Initially I hated her. Everytime I talk to her, it reminded me of the hard time I had. I would say that was the hardest thing ever happened to me. But I should also say I would not have known how close we were if that had never happened!!!
ReplyDeleteJust a year ago, I would never have understood what you meant. But now, I have lost faith in friendship. My bestfriend, the only one I've had in my life, has decided that a friend she has just met a year ago is a better friend. So, I've been replaced in virtually all her future and current plans. Just take me out of the picture and replace with the new friend. As for me, I have to rebuild all my plans and dream from the shattered pieces I'm collecting. It's solo flying for me from now on. At least I won't be surprised halfway by co-pilots ejecting and leaving me to rash alone. I fly alone, I crash alone, no surprises. My question is, is the joys of friendship worth all the pain years later with the abandonment and back stabbing? She doesn't see it as back stabbing of course. If I were in a perfectly happy position like her, neither would I. It is only when you're on the receiving end would you realise that it is a form of backstabbing. I'll never trust anyone anymore after this. I have no family and I thought I found my family in my bestfriend. I'd rather die alone than be faced with such hurt again.
ReplyDeleteI personally feel the same stuff and it's true sometimes you are upset from each and everyone around you and more importantly no one actually stand upto your expectations which is when the irritation begins and you suddenly feel there is no need of friends and I can d all the stuff by my self these are jut selfish people who have nothing to do
ReplyDeleteBut when you all to noone you can never express what you are feeling and you get frustrated and this will go only dter yu will talk to them cause when I was irritated I thought I am strong enough I will let th3e thoughts go bit as I talked to no one I actually remained in those bed of thoughts for days
So it's better either to lust out your anger or just get of that place and make new friends